I have been in a whirlwind this year and all I can say is that I just held on and rode the ride. This time last year I took a life altering chance and went to Savannah to meet Dave, the Scottish bloke I met on geek2geek.com. We met on September 9, 2013. Speaking to each other on-line, then via Skype, I decided to push us into meeting earlier than his planned November of 2014. During the months of calls that froze and dropped I finally figured out what everyone was talking about when they talked of falling in love and wanting to get married. I get it now. Took me 52 years, but I get it now.
This time last year we were on the Savannah trip. An amazing time that is straight out of a romance novel. Yesterday a year ago he came down the escalator in his red converse and his nerd t-shirt and leather jacket. I was crazy about him the moment I smelled him as he gathered me into his arms. Arms that for years he thought were too long, but were perfect to wrap around my very generous body.
Today, a year ago, he and I were on a tour of Savannah. Testing out how to hold hands and eat around each other without being embarrassed.
For my birthday, a year ago tomorrow, he got up at 5am and shaved. Then gave me some of the most beautiful jewelry and cards I have ever gotten. We went to the beach and were drenched in a monsoon of rain and laughter. At that moment Dave realized that I would not be the woman who would see this as a fail, but as a wonderful quirky win, and I watched him physically relax. That night we spent at a beautiful restaurant where I had a delightful dinner, and then one of the worst hot flashes I have ever had. He just sat with me and held my hand and stayed with me through it. Another win in my eyes.
The next day was a pottering about kind of day, Walmart, which he went nuts over, Barnes and Nobel where we both went to the same section. Then that evening we had a sad little dinner and walked back to the hotel. That night we talked about what would have to happen for us to move forward. I was very matter of fact, and he was very helpful. Then I told him I needed at least an hour or two of sleep because I had to drive us back to Atlanta for the flights out.
As we lay there he kicked and fussed and all I could think was that I had blown it. That he was trying to find a way to get out of it with me, to end this in a way we that neither of us would loose face and that we could drive back to Atlanta and at least be “friends” for the ride back.
Again at 5 am he woke me (because we had to leave in an hour) This time he made me get up out of bed. Standing in my bare feet and not really awake, he kneeled down to tie my shoe laces. Which made no sense to me. Then he held both my hands and looked up at me and said, “will you marry me?”
The rest is a bit of a blur. All I know for sure is that I said yes, we both cried, and then he gave me a the shirt he was wearing so that I could have a reminder, since he did not have a ring for me.
All I also know for sure is that for once in my life I stepped off the safe place I have ensconced myself for 22 years and I jumped into his monkey arms. All I also know for sure is that We are approaching our 6 month wedding anniversary, and although I have had some challenges adjusting to having a person in my life who I would do anything for, I have never been in a better place in my entire life.
30 years ago I saw a vedic astrologer who tilted his head at me in a very endearing way and said, “If you can actually survive to your 50’s then you will have paid all your karmic debt and you will be able to live the rest of your life in joy.”