The Vampire Effect

What is it with bad movies and me lately? What? Have I seen enough good ones so now I am drawn to bad ones? Like I have been Good Sandy for so long that Bad Sandy is finally showing  her cigarette crushing heels. I blame Andy…He got so excited about the terrible movie I brought into the store, The Room, that I got swept up in the excitement.

Ok, unfair. I am the one who at 15 snuck out at 9 at night and drove in the snow 60 miles with my brother to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show at a midnight movie. Wait, earlier than that…

When I was a kid I spent so many hours watching B-movies that my parents thought I had a disease or something and took me to the doctor to find out why I fell asleep in class. I fessed up to getting up and watching late night movies. Anything. Everything. ( I think I may still be grounded because of this.)

Then there is my MST3K addiction. Years spent watching Joel (later Mike) and the Bots blast the movies I had been watching for years. And there was also the time my friends and I went to see Krull and were the only ones in the theatre and we MST3K’d it ourselves. 

The Vampire Effect is my latest guilty pleasure. Thinking Jackie Chan was in it more than he was (though ANY Jackie Chan in a movie is a good thing.) The whole story revolves around vampire hunters, and Anime-esque  girls in cutesy outfits with little puppy dogs and kick-ass skills. It is dubbed, so the language never feels right.

Him: “Thanks for the cake.”
Her: “Your coffin is comfortable.”

The contrivance to get Jackie Chan involved is weird and disconcerting. It feels like the Rude Mechanicals in the middle of Midsummer Nights Dream, but off by about one Stooge’s worth. There is some fun chop and some silly sockey. And the story…well, who the heck knows or cares why the evilest of the vampires are all European, why the girls make grunting noises, where the puppies went, why there is a vampire antidote that tastes like banana???

I mean, you gotta let the art wash over you, right?

What was I talking about?

Oh, no, Life is imitating Art….

Author: Zoe

I use words. I watch things. I see what you may not. Bio info is hard.

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